I need your advice this morning. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

My 15 yr old son went to a late skate night with church friends. It lasted until 1 am, at which time I was going to pick him up. He called about midnight to tell me another boy would bring him home. I agreed to it because the 18 yr old is a trusted friend. At 1:30 they had not yet arrived so I called his cell. Turns out they had taken two girls home...without my permission. When they got to the girls destination, her uncle came to the car and started cursing and threatening the boys, accusing them of "messing" with his niece at the roller rink. He was quite intoxicated. After scaring the boys half to death, he reached into the car and took the keys out of the ignition. That's when the man's sister (adoptive mom of the girl)came out and ordered him inside. He finally gave the keys back and the boys rode off. I told my son that none of this would have happened had he called me. He got the lecture but now I don't know what to do about the Uncle. You know what I'd like to do! Any advice?

I need your advice this morning. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I think a call or even a visit to the mother/uncle's house is appropriate. Your son needs to know that you support him and I feel that if you let this go, he may think that you don't care.





I'm not saying that you go over there with an attitude or anything, just be there to represent your family, introduce yourself and talk about what happened. Let this family know that your son and his friend were trying to do a good deed by giving the girls a ride home. (why didn't these girls have a ride home already???) They will probably apologize and then your children can all go back to their lives as friends without this ugly moment hanging over their heads.





I know you want to do more but just take the high road, support your son, and make sure that these people know he is a good kid and didn't deserve the treatment he received at their house. Even if you don't get an apology out of them, your son will never forget that you went over there in his defense.
Reply:Well gee Ma, if there was a billy club under the seat he could have knocked that drunk senseless.
Reply:nothing..no harm no foul! he was protecting his family. would you feel the same way if he wasn't drunk and not using profanity? get a grip and put yourself in his shoes!
Reply:Your son is safe....thank God.....let it end there. Tell your son that it would not be a good idea to see that girl again because it would mean big trouble for him. If he is smart he will listen. As far as the drunk uncle is concerned, forget about him and hope that you will never hear about him again.


Don't pursue the incident. It will only result in trouble and you will gain nothing from it. Forget about it.
Reply:Now, keep in mind this is a personal opinion, but I think I would make a call to the adoptive mother. It sounds as though she handled the situation to the best of her ability and she may be the most stable person to talk to regarding her brother. But I agree with you that the situation should be handled in some way. Best of luck to you!!
Reply:Maybe call child protective services? It's a little creepy that a drunken uncle is living with high school aged girls. I might anonymously report him for the girls' sake.





Although your son should have called you, it does sound like he did the right thing, making sure the girls got home. His heart is in the right place.
Reply:I would not doubt if this trusted 18 year old is taking advantage of trust.





What to do?





1- Punish your boy!


2- Quit being naive!
Reply:I would forbid your son from riding in cars with other young drivers. He is too young.
Reply:taking someones keys is considered false imprisonment in the eyes of the law..........give them a call
Reply:'...now I don't know what to do about the Uncle. You know what I'd like to do!'





I have no idea what you would like to do. Thank him? Tell him that you are sorry that your son is so irresponsible? Bake him some cookies?





I'm assuming that this man's niece was a minor. If a 15 y/o boy and his 18 y/o friend had taken my niece out until 1:30 a.m., I would have gone through the roof. The fact that he was with 'church friends' means NOTHING. I lost my virginity at a church function when I was 14. The fact that the uncle was drunk....means nothing. He was on private property, he wasn't driving, etc.





The proper way to take a girl out for a night of roller skating (or whatever) is to show up at the house when you pick her up, introduce yourself, and set a time that you will be back. This is common knowledge. If your son didn't realize the importance of this notion, I'm sure he does now. By doing this, a young man is saying,'You can trust me. My word is good.'





Conversely, when you bring home a girl at 1:30 a.m. that you picked up at a roller rink, you run the risk of getting screamed at. Concerned, angry parents (or uncles, cousins, brothers, etc...) sometimes lose thier cool. Your son got a free life lesson on how NOT to begin a relationship with a girl. I'll bet next time, he will ask questions first instead jumping in with offers of a ride home.



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